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SMQ Homerism: I Knew This Kid Was Trouble the First Time I Laid Eyes On 'im!

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This is not exactly news, but Antwain Easterling, celebrated statutory rapist/lewd and lascivious batterer turned Signing Day coup turned suspension-addled afterthought, has either taken the last (and probably only) bus out of Hattiesburg or been summarily booted from Southern Miss. Either way, he's nowhere to be found (presumably they've checked the roof of the American building). Easterling is so gone - and apparently was so gone already, since the new staff renewed his suspension under the old staff in February - Larry Fedora didn't even know he was gone, before he really was gone, officially:

He was suspended indefinitely from the team by coach Larry Fedora on Feb. 19 for a violation of team rules. Last week, Fedora told the Hattiesburg American that Easterling remained suspended despite the fact the school's Registrar's Office said he was no longer enrolled.

"I didn't know he wasn't in school, but nothing has changed on his status," Fedora said. "You don't have to be in school to play in the fall, just as long as you're eligible."
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I'm not sure the NCAA necessarily agrees with the last part of that statement. But it doesn't matter, because Easterling is for all intents and purposes gone gone gone. As a matter of fact, let's just forget he was ever here in the first place. Easterling? Never heard of the kid. Pay no attention to the guy who said he would immediately push Damion Fletcher for carries.

Seriously, who could have seen this coming?
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USM signed another four-star prospect in its 2007 class, massive JUCO lineman Julius Gray. As far as I know, he never set foot on campus (though his role as goliath was nicely appropriated by 350-pound Mississippi State transfer Calvin Wilson). If only the generally competent guys who rate them on size and speed could put stars on their ability to meet minimum social requirements.

As for this year's shocking, why-the-hell-did-he-go-there? signee, rumor says DeAndre Brown, the only five-star prospect in school history, has made the requisite ACT to qualify. It's on a message board, so it must be true. And, really, let's be honest: this kid with minor eligibility issues is a lock. Not like those others with minor eligibility issues, who never existed. This is the guy within whom the championship spirit dwells, with accompanying ethics, to be drawn out by master motivators with cunning minds on the sideline. But for real this time. Nothing can go wrong now. This is the sure thing! To the Top!!!!11!11!