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Appalachian State 34, Michigan 32, or HOT! HOT! HOT!

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There is no order. The Earth is flat. We are alone in a universe of chaos and cruelty. There is no purpose to our actions, especially those concerning the predicting of the outcomes of football games. I am so, so sorry for Michigan.

On the other hand, as Orson just texted me: HOT! HOT! HOT! Truly, Appalachian State, you are as you claim, you mountainous gods of the miraculous:

"The upset of the year!" suggests one of my friends on the phone. "This reminds me of Miami Ohio's upset over LSU in 1986," texts another. No. No. They lack understanding. A I-AA team beat Michigan. This shakes the foundation of my comprehension of the world to such a vastly greater extent than any upset, sighting, conspiracy theory, apparition, miracle or act of nature I could possibly cite. This is frogs raining from heaven. This is physically impossible.