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Jonathan Tu Needs Your Help

This is not a humanitarian blog; SMQ sacrifices itself to no man. It's read The Virtue of Selfishness (and, yeah, it was kind of a dick for a little while after that).

But in the case of Jonathan Tu, whose fine site provided and will continue to provide superbly-crafted, thrice-weekly hilarity on its proprietor's return from beautiful and exotic Portugal (Motto: "Iberia Brought You Into Western Civilization, and We'll Take You Out!"), it's a matter of quid pro quo: Tu makes me laugh, and promises to continue doing so this fall, and I solicit my readership for recommendations for his planned tour of the nation's shrines to the amateur gridiron this fall. In his non-capitalized words:

"i'm coming back to the states in the middle of august, and i plan on going through with my beleaguered attempt at a 14 week-14 stadium odyssesy through america's college football dreamscape, with the 14 stadium number on a generous plus minus depending on car reliability and thursday night mac games. mmmmm. thursday night mac.

almost none of it is planned. would help me plan it by helping me spread the word, gathering intelligence and finding out what places to visit, where to barbeque, with whom to drink, and what tickets are available? ... a simple "jon is going forth. where should jon go?" would suffice. acceptable answers can range from the red river shootout to the toilet."

Ask and you shall receive, Jon, because you can write. Note to other readers: don't tell him to go to the toilet, please, unless it is a really awesome toilet.

I got some kinda scoop here about that Major kid, Smitty! He's gonna be big, I tell ya! Big! Some kinda scoop!
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Other people are doing this sort of thing, but SMQ is throwing its weight behind the Tour de Tu. And though he didn't actually specifically authorize me to release his e-mail address, I'm going to do it, anyway, since that seems to be the spirit of the thing (and I don't want to wait on his OK). Send submissions to:

You'll probably receive tangible nothing in return, unless Jon omitted the part about his prize budget, except the pleasure of reading the resulting travelogue. Which, really, should be reward enough.

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In completely unrelated news, ESPN has stumbled upon a breaking wire report this Thursday, July 12, 2007, that Major Applewhite has joined Nick Saban's staff at Alabama, where he will assume an "undetermined role." What, again? Or did his contract just go through, or what?