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Monday Hub Was Suspiciously Well-Behaved This Weekend

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Oh, man, it's full-bore offseason time when we start getting a bunch of stories about coaches speaking to booster clubs and tearing up the recruiting trail. Wow, those guys are amazing in handling the daily routines of their profession. The Times-Picayune hits the trail this weekend with a hard-hitting look at Les Miles' tie preferences and his intent to focus on Louisiana in recruiting, except for a couple other states where there are also good players.

Warren Waits as Workingman, Batty Bowden Blows In Breeze: Frustrated by his efforts to get out of his scholarship, ex-Florida State tight end/receiver Brandon Warren enrolled at Pellissippi State Technical College in Knoxville to get his grades in line for an eventual transfer to Tennessee. His motivation, according to his mother: steely revenge fantasy...

"He's determined to do something," Deidre Warren said. "He's not going to let Florida State win, and I don't blame him."

The Tampa Tribune also reports Warren has taken a job with a company that hangs siding on homes while waiting for an unlikely NCAA ruling to sever his commitment to FSU. Might he be moving on soon to work on his old coach's fabulous retirement home? Bobby Bowden said he wouldn't blame Florida State if it "ran him off" next year for not winning enough games. That's what they've really wanted for years, after all - or did you actually think that whole Jeff Bowden fiasco was actually about the literal 100 percent drop in scoring over his tenure as offensive coordinator? How quaint:

He said the pressure on Jeff Bowden, which contributed to Jeff's resignation as offensive coordinator, was "kind of a way of getting at me. They like me. I'm so sweet. So we get to Bobby by getting on his son. You have nine coaches. How can you say it's [Jeff's] fault every time?''

Bowden said he and UM coaches have learned that ''if you ever win a national championship, your fans expect it every year. If we lose two games, [FSU fans] are upset. Is it reasonable? No, it's not. But that's the way it is nowadays.'' Larry Coker's firing "is not fair. But it's a sign of the times. It's a shame.''

Sports, Bowden said, "gets less and less civil every year, because [society] is going crazy. If you won by 30 points every game, they would be so mad -- you should have won by 40. American people are spoiled. I'd be the same way if I was sitting in the stands.''

Bowden: So sweet he rots these kids' teeth.
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Bowden is clearly losing it in this story: he refers to himself in third person, takes a paranoid, almost nonsensical position about his son's firing completely voluntary resignation (They want to get at Bobby Bowden, those ravenous bastards, but then, "they like me. I'm so sweet." What does that mean?), calling high fan expectations "a shame" and the result of a "spoiled" culture in the throes of "going crazy," seconds before admitting he would exhibit the same behavior if he were in the position of a fan. I'd also like to know what fan has ever complained about the mythical team that wins every game by 30 points, which would be pretty easily the greatest team in sports history, or about the team that wins any game by that margin. They usually just buy the t-shirts for that sort of thing.

Quickly: The Georgia Dome wants an ACC or SEC team to move a home game to Atlanta. Other than Georgia Tech, they mean ... A few dozen ex-Canes are donating pro riches back to Miami to spark a push for a facilities upgrade ... Good news for Southern Miss: Defensive end Matt Chatelain will return for a sixth year ... Lloyd Carr liked what he saw from Russell Crowe's cheerleader-hating Australian rugby team, but the Rabbitohs weren't so appealing to outgoing Wolverines Jeremy Van Alstyne and Brian Thompson ... Javon Ringer's a dancing fool with his mom ... A little late, but Joseph Perkins finally got that LOI in at Arizona ... And are Oregon's Pac Ten belweathers running scared from Jerry Glanville?

No "Rap Sheet" today, amazingly. Stories of Mother's Day-related debauchery and shame may begin leaking out later on.