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Monday Hub Does Not Feel Empathy Towards Brady Quinn

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Everything's about the draft the last couple days, and I'll get to that later this morning with hard-hitting coverage that does not include the bloody, humiliated corpse of Brady Quinn, which at no point Saturday was anything but a pending millionaire with a chance to start immediately. How terrible for him. Get him away from the cameras!

Until then, it's all quick hits:

Calvin Johnson slated to become Tigers' fifth starter, solve debilitating Big Three legacy costs.
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Quickly: Burdened by three years of catching passes with the albatross of Reggie Ball, quarterback, Calvin Johnson is a hit in Detroit. Until he lines up alongside Reggie Ball, wide receiver ... Clemson reported seven minor violations to the NCAA between September and February, though they refer only to generic "student-athletes" and so do not necessarily involve football players. The Greenville News has a copy of the report for specifics and insight into the mundanity of the bureaucratic process (PDF) ... It was tradition, of course, that kept the Texas-OU rivalry in the Cotton Bowl. And $10 million more for Texas ... Arizona State cornerback Chad Green was transferred to his home, but remains in "critical and guarded" condition two weeks after being hospitalized in a car wreck ... Ralph Friedgen has two underachieving quarerbacks, and Josh Portis and Jordan Steffy will both play for the job this fall. Watch out for Red and White winner Chris Turner, too ... The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel's Dave Heller tips readers to an ex-Badger, now a Marine, blogging from Iraq ... The Boston Herald goes in-depth with Jeff Jagodzinski ... Jonathan Stewart dominates Oregon's spring game, to the chagrin of UO's very sore defense ... UConn fullback Deon Anderson, less than a year from living in an old locker room on campus, was shocked to be drafted by the Cowboys ... Tyler Palko signs with the Saints as a free agent (woot) ... Mike Huguenin talks about schedules ... A new nickname for Alabama CB Ramzee Robinson: "Mister Irrelevant" ... Undrafted, Chris Leak became the second undersized Gator quarterback in Chicago ... Good news for Colorado and bad in one at the spring game: Bernard Jackson is still CU's top offensive threat ... All starting jobs safe in Missouri. Nice headline, Tribune ... Big surprise: the text-messaging ban passed last week by the NCAA won't affect Bobby Bowden's recrutiing methods.

The Rap Sheet
Crimes, misdemeanors and eligibility-crippling issues legal, academic, institutional and otherwise.
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Issued a warrant for Adrian Peterson's arrest, by the Oklahoma City Municipal Court. His offense? $232 in unpaid traffic tickets from March. That shouldn't be too difficult.

Tennessee's secondary: lots of potential; emaciated and vaguely scandalous.
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Dismissed, Tennessee cornerback Roshaun Fellows, a victim of the ever-popular undisclosed violation of team rules. Every local paper covers the dismissal, none has any inclination what's behind it; the AP at least reports Fellows' name hasn't shown up on any arrest records on campus or anywhere in the vicinity of Knoxville in the past few weeks. Demetrice Morley was already kicked out of school for grades in January, and Inky Johnson is officially done with football after the arm injury he suffered last year against Air Force, leaving the once Marianas-deep Tennessee secondary suddenly thinner'n Kate Moss' anorexic, heroin-addled skeleton puking in a sauna on International Liposuction Day. What else can we add to that analogy?

Cited, for misdemeanor serving alcohol to an underage customer at a sports bar where he used to work, South Florida quarterback and unbelievable YouTube star Matt Grothe, whose attorney calls the order to appear "not a whole lot different than a traffic ticket." Grothe is only 20 his own self and no longer works at Zimbo's Bull Ring and Sports Bar. If only "Zimbo's Bull Ring" were an actual bull ring, but alas, it's only a takeoff on USF's mascot. The lesson, as always: football players and bars = illegality. This just isn't the case for the rest of society.

Released, Idaho defensive tackle Marvin Jones, after being arrested last week for selling cocaine to an undercover officer in Moscow (Idaho, that is) on three different occasions. A true Vandal, Jones retreated with his plunder to his apartment lair, where $1,600 in cash marked by police for the deal was found during a subsequent search. He posted $10,000 bond on Friday. No team or university comment per privacy laws that don't stop certain other coaches from publicly pondering their players' fates.

Digging, an even deeper hole, Georgia linebacker Akeem Hebron, who was charged last week with underage possession after threatening an employee who wouldn't let him into an Athens (Georgia, that is) bar by pointing his hands at the bar guy in the fashion of aiming a handgun. This arrest drew dark intonations from privacy law-eschewing Mark Richt of "final consequences" and a "significant price" to be paid, presumably more significant than the two-game suspension Richt imposed on Hebron when he was booked for underage possession in the middle of a Sunday morning back in February. Per university policy, Hebron faces a possible loss of scholarship for a second alcohol-related offense and suspension "for not less than 30 percent of the season," along with at least 40 hours of community service. Thirty percent of the season, for 12 games, would amount to four games, but here's guessing he gets at least slightly worse than that.