Introducing Ask Mike Leach

Mike Leach has blown up buildings, hunted sharks, crashed airplanes, and flown helicop- [gunshot offscreen]. Anyway, an advice column, here we go.

So, solvin' problems. How do you do it?

First, think up a good problem. Love, money, career, sex, the zone blitz, whatever is weighing on your mind like a black hole sucking to its indifferent core every ounce of joy from your increasingly desperate and pathetic existence. Second, send it in to sundaymorningqb at yahoo dot com, making sure to render the address in a fashion not as specifically designed to ward off roving hordes of Lithuanian Viagra spammers. Then, wait. SMQ, who has previously served as conduit of messages from the multi-talented Leach, will exercise diligence to ensure your query reaches the coach, who will apply his quixotic insight to help solve the petty nuisances debilitating stress that brackets your wretched days.

Remember: Mike Leach is studying up this offseason on everything from civil war in Sudan to the synchronicity of dopaminergic neurons fired across the synapses of the caudate nucleus for you. Get those questions coming.