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Why Yes, I Might Be Interested In Coaching West Virginia

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By Bobby Petrino, Head Coach, That One Place
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Well, it's interesting you should ask. I wasn't going to say anything. I wasn't really sure how it might come off, you know, under the circumstances. But since you asked: yes, I might be interested in coaching West Virginia.

I mean, not that I am interested, of course. I'm very happy where I am and plan on spending a very long time here in this wonderful town with its fine people and own peculiar charms. But then, I could theoretically be happy any place where I have better players than all the other teams my team plays.

Surprised? I can't see why. Pat White? Steve Slaton? Noel Devine? Man, I've had to go up against those guys, and believe me, any coach would jump at the chance to have a triptych of fury like that in his backfield. You have to take advantage of the chance to be a part a team with that sort of ability, if it were to come along, I mean, while the window's open, which it is for someone else, and the iron's hot, which mine definitely is not. You don't wait when a great opportunity avails itself - you strike! That is, if you're not just completely thrilled to be a part of the horrible, melodramatic backwater to which you've previously, hastily commited yourself before you knew the McFadden kid was going pro early, and obviously that's me these days. But no harm in a little look-see, though, am I right, my man?

I know what you're thinking - Bobby, Bobster, baby, Bubala, you just left a great job, a lucrative dream job with that one fantastic organization for that wonderful place you're at now. You can't move again. I know that. I'm just saying, West Virginia would sure be one hell of a place for a coach who really liked to put up points, really just loved the thrill of running up the score, running it up until their ears pop. If you were that kind of coach, West Virginia might be a really attractive place that caught your attention. If you knew any coaches who taste blood like that, you should maybe give them a call. Maybe they're a long shot, but you never know. If you just call them. You never know what might happen.

But me? I'm settled down, man. I'm buckling up. It's been a fast ride, bro, but I'm getting snug in my Volvo this time. But you never stop hearing that engine rev down the street, though, do ya?