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By Dennis Franchione
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The week in news, dirt and gossip, from the inside.
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Shoenhoft's best revenge is a hot bod.
It can't be easy seeing statuesque teammate Todd Boeckman and his stunning passer rating on the front page of virtually every newspaper. But now, after showing off his new hot bod during warm-ups before practice, Ohio State's Rob Schoenhoft is making headlines of his own. "The reaction from people seeing him in that itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny shimmel shirt did more for Rob's self-image and self-confidence than all his years of fundamental practice put together," a friend of Rob recently told QB! magazine.

"He didn't realize the impact it had until he was back in the locker room after practice. Everywhere he went, everyone he spoke to told him what an absolute knockout he is and what great shape he's in. For a 244-pound quarterback who has just come out of a tough position battle and hasn't taken meaningful snaps in three years -- it had him walking on air."

Spies say Rob Schoenhoft is slim and trim after a porky pose in the Spring.
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Exclusive! Stanchek doesn't have to let it linger.
With Pat White's status for Syracuse in doubt due to an ankle injury, Ryan Stanchek has made his own end-of-season plans. Offensive line coach Jim Bob Helduser interviewed the West Virginia lineman for FFD about the decision he and fellow WVU junior Stephen Maw reached to take out one another's MCLs should any week-to-week injury afflict either of them.

"I saw my teammate suffer from the moment he came back into the huddle against South Florida to the day he had to ride an exercise bike during practice. There's no way I could go through what he's going through, or put my teammates through that," Stanchek told FFD. "To watch him linger on the sideline with his pads still on, never knowing if he might go in this play or the next play, I'd never be able to stand it."

Considering it the "final gift of love to (their) team," the linemen have already contacted their lawyers to see to it that their wishes are respected.

"Stephen and I have absolutely come to the same decision. We believe 100 percent in solidarity, and that when one of us is hurt, all of us are hurt. So we've drawn up plans to drive up to the Mafia training school and just let them mutilate our kneecaps. If Stephen or I ever got a high ankle sprain, that's it -- we'd be done," he revealed to the position coach. "We gathered the team around the training table, told them our wishes and they've all agreed to go with it."

Cranky Jorvorskie Lane: Still not dieting
The rest of the world may be obsessed with Jorvorskie Lane's weight, but apparently the Texas A&M tailback doesn't give it a second thought. "I haven't got a clue about how much I weigh," he said in this month's Stiffarm. "I don't own any scales."

Jorvorskie has, however, picked up on the fact that other people are paying attention. "I have noticed it creates an anger in people who think running backs have to be skinny. Some coaches like to blame their poor tackling on other people."

To be or not to be, Coach O?
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The jolly jumbo junior went on to say that he, too, knows a thing or two about insecurity. "I'm not Superman," Jorvorskie revealed. "I have self-esteem problems. I have games where I get stuck with two carries. Everybody does. You know, big-boned people are allowed to feel shitty about themselves."

Dish on the fly
Ed Orgeron popped up in a place you'd least expect him, reports Coaching People - a bookstore. Spotted in an Oxford Books-a-Million, least-likely-to-be-literary Coach O stocked up on a stack of reading material from the photography and learn-to-draw aisles. ... If recent textbook purchases are any indication, Darren McFadden is about to take a test in Sociology and the Family, reports Stiffarm. According to a magazine source, close friends of the kinesiology major were spotted shopping for Cliff's notes and highlighters that are, "like, really bright."