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The more I think about USC at Oregon, the more excited I get for the potential fireworks this afternoon in the rare collision of elite defense and elite offense, but even if the Trojans and Ducks turn in the game of the year (if that's still even possible after the last three weeks LSU's had) I won't be watching: instead, I'll be a pilgrim in Darrell K. Royal for Bill Callahan's Farewell Meltdown Tour date with the Longhorns at the same time.

I feel your pain, brother. Not for the same reason, but I feel it.
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Most people prefer the atmosphere of the stadium, but I'm torn: I don't have any particular emotional investment in the Huskers or Horns, certainly not anything like the investment I have in good football, generally, and so the fun of live action is inevitably tinged with the regret of drama unseen. Still, given the choice of USC-Oregon or Nebraska-Texas tickets in August, I'd have taken the ones I have today, and my only solace in the likely event of UT beatdown this afternoon is that I wasn't actually faced with the option. For completely selfish reasons, I'll be rooting for a blowout one way or the other in Eugene, and in Jacksonville, too, and hoping something closer to the Big 12 championship preview we expected in the summer than the 23-point spread we have today. And also, you know, chilling with family I haven't seen in months, etc. I can't really lose here.

At any rate, I'll be an absentee landlord for most of today's thread, so the especially hard rocking that usually goes on therein is left up to you, reader. All games are in play. Now I am confident that you gentlemen will review without passion the games and players and ridiculous commercials that you have seen, and come to a decision, and offer this decision to your fellow commenters in humorous fashion.

In the name of God, do your duty. In the name of God, rock this comment thread.