Tantilizing bits of more or less hot-off-the-presses coaching grist, initiated by the gritty rumor milling of generous readers and confirmed by largely credible - or at least credentialed - news outlets.
First, reader Mark and then ABC Sports reports Dirk Koetter has been unceremoniously bounced as figurehead of El Presidente Rudy Carpenter's glorious revolution at the People's Democratic Republic of Arizona State:
Athletic director Lisa Love made the announcement Sunday night following the team's annual awards banquet.
Koetter went 40-33 in six seasons at ASU. There was no word on whether he would coach the team in a bowl game.
But a pattern had begun. ASU won five games in 2003, nine in 2004 and seven in 2005. That inconsistency, coupled with Koetter's 2-19 record against ranked teams, led to mounting criticism from Sun Devils fans.
Perspective is a funny thing: SMQ looks at ASU and sees a usually dismal program, 17-18 the three years before Koetter's arrival, that had hit a stretch of consistent - if, at 40-33 in six years, not at all overwhelming - success in a competitive environment. But Koetter's fate may have been sealed the moment he innocently selected more experienced senior Sam Keller as the starter ahead of the infallible Carpenter, whose grassroots campaign for power quickly put the role of "head coach" into its proper perspective. The revolution is in no position to tolerate "mounting criticism from fans" or "instant capitulation to pressure from below" if it is to conquer the corrupt dogs by whom it is currently exploited for their selfish gain, on top of the riches they already possess.
Earliest names in the mix, according to Mark's assessment of meticulously disinterested, balanced and fact-checking TPDRASU message boards : Norm Chow, Dennis Erickson, Steve Mariucci, Gene Chzek, Bo Pellini. What, no Steve Spurrier? After all, he hasn't specifically denied interest in Arizona State...
One of many false memories soon to be "corrected" to ensure the people know the truth of Koetter's reign of futile terror
Such conjecture is reportedly over at Michigan State, where it reached levels exceeding absurdity, as of later today, when MSU is expected to name Cincinnati's Mark Dantonio its resident gridiron messiah. Because the Spartans had so much success with its last coach from a mid-tier school coming off a seven-win season? The Bearcats' thumping of Rutgers last week was a lucrative exhibition, it seems.
High-profilish places still searchin', as of Sunday night: Miami, NC State, Iowa State and, now, Cincinnati.