The semi-regular feature breaking down the most recent Kirk Ferentz press conference...

"My love...there's only you in my life..."

After nearly five months without a significant athletic activity, we've finally exited Dark Territory.  Information is slowly creeping out  First, we had Ferentz's press conference at Big Ten media day, but that presser was monopolized by Michigan bloggers and that obnoxious Purdue guy who kept asking everyone what Joe Tiller meant to them.  Ferentz walked to the podium with a karaoke machine in tow, belted out "Rosanna" by Toto, and hit the road.

Iowa media day, however, gave the always-dedicated Iowa sportswriting corps a chance to ask in-depth questions of Coach Ferentz.  As usual, the sportswriters generally failed in that modest task (someone actually asked, "Is Mitch King an elite player?").  That's not to say there wasn't any important information, only that it's buried in monologues on Andre Tippett.

It is with great pleasure that I give you Ferentz: Interpreted.

1. Shonn Greene is back, and KF is doing naked cartwheels over that fact.

One quick rule of reading the Ferentz tea leaves: If it's positive, specific to a player, and part of the opening statement, it's important.

From Ferentz's opening statement:

Everybody wants to know who the hot recruits are.  And to get Andy Brodell, Tony Moeaki and Shonn Greene back in the line-up, we're really excited about that.  With all due respect to any of our first-year guys, but these are guys we've seen play for us and we think they have a great opportunity to impact our offensive football team...

Right now [the running back position is] a jump ball in all regards.  We've got Paki O'Meara and Jayme Murphy, both did a good job in the spring.  Nate Guillory looked like a new player in the spring, was lost most of the time.  The good news is I think his last week was his best week.  Then certainly Shonn Greene, getting him back and running will be good.  And we're anxious to look at our first-year players as well.  I think there might be some opportunity there for those guys.

Later, when asked about whether he wants a true #1 running back:

I'm not concerned about it.  I'm hoping they will all do well.  That will work itself out.  I'm not too concerned about it.  I hope all the parties are healthy in practice and playing well.

Again, probably the biggest variable will be the guys we haven't seen much of.  I feel pretty comfortable about knowing who Shonn Greene is, Paki O'Meara and Jayme Murphy.  Other guys, we have ideas who they are, but don't know until we get through camp.

Finally, while not directly Greene-related, his comment on the possibility of playing a freshman at halfback:

[Running back is] a position,  If you look around the country, freshmen do play at the running back position and play well.  First thing is don't hurt the team, don't screw the team up.  And for a running back, that means hanging on to the football and knowing what the protections are and being able to protect.

It's not exactly as if Ferentz said, "Thank God we found an experieced running back, because 'Paki O'Meara' is Irish for 'update your resume,'" but the fact that he would lump Greene's return in with Brodell and Moeaki indicates how important he thinks Shonn might be this season.

Further, the emphasis on knowing protection schemes is obvious.  Given Guillory's difficulties in learning protection packages this spring (that "looked like a new player" quote above isn't good) and the other running backs' lack of experience and/or talent, I'd expect Greene to hold the top line and get the majority of snaps at least through September.

Continue reading this post »

It's about that time.  For the next month, BHGP will be previewing this year's Iowa Hawkeyes, position-by-position.  Naturally, as the earth revolves around the sun, things will change.  Therefore, we're starting with the position we are most certain of, and ending with running back the position of which we are least certain.  To date:

1. Defensive Tackle
2. Tight End
3. Safety
4. Center
5. Defensive End
6. Wide Receiver
7. Linebacker
8. Special Teams

Today: Quarterback

OK, let's do it.

The Starter, For Now

Jake Christensen (6'1", 215, Jr.) - There are certainly differing viewpoints on how tenuous Christensen's grasp on the top line is, but let's not confuse conflict with uncertainty:  JC6 will start the season as the first-team quarterback.

Jake was one of the crown jewels of the vaunted - and now oft-maligned - 2005 Iowa recruiting class.  He was one of the best high school quarterbacks in the country, lauded for his sound mechanics, throwing accuracy, and ability to scramble (he was considered a "dual-threat" quarterback; all the talk of Christensen as a Chandler-like pocket passer are patently false).  He played in the U.S. Army All-American Game with Richardson, Stross, Doering, Moeaki, and Blum.  He was, by all accounts, the heir apparent to Drew Tate.  He redshirted, then saw limited action in his second season, primarily in lieu of an injured Tate against Northern Illinois (the infamous "kinda gay" game).  He looked about as good as you'd expect from a freshman, completing 65% of his passes but throwing a couple of bad picks (especially against Minnesota) and exhibiting a bad tendency to hold onto the ball too long.

Last season?  Well, as OPS has said, you could write 1500 words about Christensen's 2007 campaign and not even scratch the surface.  There were a multitude of reasons why it might have been such a struggle, many of which were out of his control:

• Injuries/suspensions/attrition in the receiver corps - Christensen entered fall camp with Brodell and Douglas at receiver (with Stross as the third option) and Moeaki at tight end.  By the end of week 4, he had Cleveland and DJK at receiver (with a rotation of Chaney/Sandeman/Nelson(?)/Stross in there, as well), and Myers at tight end.  Not one of those players (save for the injury-plagued Stross) had any serious experience.  It certainly didn't help Christensen.  There were repeated subtle hints that the receivers had no idea what they were doing and could not run precise routes.  If true, it makes sense.
• Position flux and youth in the offensive line - The following players played on the offensive line during 2007: Richardson, Calloway, Kuempel, Doering, Eubanks, Bruggeman, Aeschliman, Meade, Vandervelde, Olsen, Blum, Koeppel, Bulaga.  That's 13 different offensive linemen who saw action.  That's amazing in and of itself, but it doesn't even factor in position changes (I'm pretty sure Olsen played in three different positions over the course of last season).  Two of those players had ever started before.  None of them graduated (though Richardson's career is apparently over due to injury).  That lack of experience led to confusion in the running game (zone blocking is unconventional and requires some smarts, and experience is absolutely essential) and routine breakdowns in pass protection.  Christensen was sacked 46 times last season.  That number is completely unacceptable, and is probably 75% due to offensive line play.
• Playcalling - FIRE KOK.  All right, I won't start just yet, but the playcalling was atrocious.  Part of it was certainly due to O'Keefe's dedication to the Lloyd Carr offensive system, but MUAK made a valid point not that long ago: KOK probably looked at his offense - particularly his passing offense - with a young quarterback, young line, and young receivers, and cut the playbook down considerably.  With a handful of experienced receivers at his disposal, possibly including one of the best tight ends in the country and a couple of bona fide deep threats on the outside, maybe things will open up.  Then again, it's KOK, so don't hold your breath.

Those things are all important, but they still don't entirely explain away a season in which a quarterback with renowned accuracy completed 53.5% of his passes and averaged only 6.13 yards per attempt.  JC might have thrown for 2200 yards, but he was over 200 yards only 4 times in 12 games.  He might have only thrown 6 picks, but an incredible number of passes were so far off-target that nobody from either team had a chance to catch them.  He might have been sacked 46 times, but a significant portion of those were a result of Christensen holding the ball too long.  The point is this:  Even if everything listed above is true, and even if all those things had their greatest possible effect, Christensen should still have been better than he was.

Barring another parade of arrests and injuries, there's no excuse this season.  The receiver rotation is fairly concrete, and all receivers have significant experience.  Moeaki is back.  The offensive line should be more solidified and also picked up much-needed experience.  KOK is still there, but might open up the offense more, especially given the fact he doesn't have a returning running back.  It's time for this offense in general, where 9 (effectively 10, given last season's criminal non-use of Tom Busch) starters are back, to make a big move forward.  That's going to depend on Christensen.

Ferentz has repeatedly compared Christensen to Matt Rodgers, who went 5-6 as a sophomore starter in 1989 before taking Iowa to the Rose Bown in 1990.  The comparison is somewhat suspect.  The 1989 Hawkeyes had no running game whatsoever; the passing offense was actually pretty good.  Rodgers was #2 in the Big Ten in passing in his first season as a starter and was named honorable mention all-conference.  He went 29-41 against Michigan that season, threw for nearly 300 yards against Illinois (who had the best pass defense in the country), and was almost perfect against Northwestern.  Aside from the Syracuse game (23-32, 278 yards, 4 TD's), has Christensen ever played anything resembling those games?  There were signs of life, to be sure (the second half of the Northwestern game comes to mind), but we have yet to see it for four consecutive quarters.  If Christensen has a sophomore-to-junior-season jump akin to Rodgers, he's probably playing like Brian Hoyer at MSU.  That's not great, but it's probably enough to get 8 wins.

The Backup, For Now

Rick(y) Stanzi (6'4", 225, Soph.) - Hayden Fry once said the best player in the Big Ten, year in and year out, was the backup quarterback at Iowa.  If you had any doubts, just ask an Iowa fan, who would bench the starter yesterday.

Rick(y) Stanzi is the heir to the backup quarterback throne and, if you ask many Iowa fans, should be the starter.  He wasn't highly regarded or heavily recruited out of high school, but received offers from Purdue, Miami (OH), and Toledo before choosing the Hawks.  At 6'4", he has ideal size.  He's not quite as fast as Christensen, but by all accounts has some mobility.  He was buried behind classmate Arvell Nelson last season.  The inside word was that, despite Christensen's problems, the staff had no faith in either of its backups (Stanzi was raw, and Nelson was apparently stoned).  Christensen was the quarterback, no matter what happened.

Not anymore.  After two series of the spring game in which Christensen threw an interception and a Tacopants overthrow, Stanzi took the reins and looked pretty good (the staff said JC was injured, but he wasn't hit and actually played significant time later; we're gullible, but not that gullible).  He threw a bomb to Stross and exhibited the feel for touch passes not often seen from JC last year.  Of couse, he also threw a pick and a number of incompletions.  Nevertheless, he was arguably better than Christensen and certainly better than McNutt.  He was the co-first team starter after spring, and may well have won the starting job had he not sustained a shoulder injury.  Word is he will be back in mid-August, but the damage is probably done.  Stanzi will enter the fall at #2.  How long he stays there is up to Christensen.

The Wild Card

Marvin McNutt (6'4", 210, Fr. (RS)) - Last year, we heard a lot about McNutt.  We heard he had a Howitzer for an arm.  We heard he could scramble for yardage like Brad Banks.  We heard he helps old women cross the street and, in his spare time, solves crimes.  If you sat in the stands of Kinnick or the parking lots of Melrose Avenue last fall, you could have walked away thinking McNutt was the second coming. 

McNutt, a St. Louis native, received offers from just about every program in the region (Iowa, Indiana, Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska, Wisconsin, Minnesota) by the end of his junior year.  He was redshirted last season, but nevertheless dominated conversations on potential replacements at quarterback.  We heard he was getting a lot of snaps in the week of post-season practice Iowa conducted as the bowl situation worked itself out.

Spring?  Eh...it wasn't pretty.  Marvin's footwork wasn't good and his accuracy was lacking.  Maybe it was just a bad day, and maybe it was a function of working with the second-team offense, but he did not look ready for prime time.  His position on the post-spring depth chart, firmly behind Christensen and Stanzi, only reinforced that view.  That said, with Stanzi's shoulder injury, McNutt might have a chance to move up the depth chart this fall and get himself into position to take over.  Nevertheless, expect to see him in garbage time, especially in the first 2-3 weeks of the season.

Could See the Field

James Vandenberg (6'3", 195, Fr.) - If Stanzi comes back in mid-August at full health, I would expect all three of Iowa's incoming freshman quarterbacks to redshirt.  However, it's not out of the question that one sees some playing time due to injury.  If it happens, my money's on Vandenberg, a Keokuk native who threw for 3700 yards and 49(!) touchdowns as a senior in leading Keokuk to the 3A state championship.  He's quick enough to avoid pressure and has been running a wide-open offense for two seasons.  Obviously, you don't plan on using a true freshman at quarterback, but you could do worse.

John Wienke (6'5", 225, Fr.) - Wienke was initially a Michigan commit who changed his mind at the 11th hour, probably because he's not exactly the prototypical spread option quarterback.  That being said, he's giant and has a great throwing arm.

 NOTE: Background here.

SpartyMSU's Brew Crew assembled (It's not Really a Brew Crew, because Drinking Beer might get uis included in the "Party School' List...And We know wE don't want THAT...)...Lets...get this party STARTED!!!!1!  On the discussion board is: The impending Martian invasion of Earth.

Found this Pic on the InterNet...Don't know who she is Talking too...But it looks HOT!!!

For the rest of Planet Earth...It's a Day of Death and Destruction.....but For Sparty....it's A Day For Tail Gate PARTEYS and Another Victory...........

Sparty Should be UNdefeated when The Martians invade...Theyre Victories Include Florida Atlantic...Eastern Muchigan...Iowa...Minnesota...scUM (YEAH!!!!!).....Cleveland Browns....1985 Chicago Bears....Al-Qaeda.....Soviet Russia.......and The Persians at Thermopylae (We ARE SpARTA!!!!!!!!!!!).....!!!..........

Last time The MArtians Invased....We Didnt no What two do...Tom Crews Ran away from teh Alien Invaders....for To Hours......until...they....got sick and Died!!!  The MARTUANS who Survived Were Arrested and THROWN IN JAIL!!!...LOL FULLMER CUP......

For This Invasion...the Key Player is Clearly Emperor Zornok....He is the Cheif Military GenEral for the Martins...If Sparty stops Him...They Stop teh INVASION..............

Zornok will Probably...Use His Foot soldiers too attack teh Countryside...and save...his Spacecrafts...For teh Cities.....We Should take to the Hills like the Wolverines...WOLVERINES!!!!!!!(They should have been Spartans I hate teh Wolverines scUM)........

Our military will Be no Match for The Martians in the Cities....There Flying Saucers Have Force Fields.....two Protect Them...The war Will Be one or loss in EL...where Sparty will fite a Gorilla War Fair!!!We will bee The Only SURVIVORS of This Battle...because Or Gorilla Tack Ticks will Force The Aliens to Make a Truce or Face Am-Bush every day.....................Eventually We Will "B" SLAVES of the Martians...

I WelcomE Our New MARTIAN OVERLORDS!!!  I Was Giddy to get a Picture With Zornok.....Can U Say Man Crush???.....You Can See Where I Spilled My Beer (YEAH RIGHT IT WAS SKIM MILK) Trying to Get teh Picture...This Martian Is Freek In Awesome!!!!!!!! I hope i Become his Slave...

ZORNOK will give a Speech in a PAcked Spartan Stadium...It will feel Like Home-coming....Sparty Gets a Late Field Goal and remains un-defeated...

Spartans 657 - Martians 0

Sparty On!!!!

It's about that time.  For the next two months, BHGP will be previewing this year's Iowa Hawkeyes, position-by-position.  Naturally, as the earth revolves around the sun, things will change.  Therefore, we're starting with the position we are most certain of, and ending with running back the position of which we are least certain.  To date:

1. Defensive Tackle
2. Tight End
3. Safety
4. Center
5. Defensive End
6. Wide Receiver
7. Linebacker

Today: Special Teams

You can't talk about Iowa special teams without asking the question: What the hell happened to Iowa's special teams?  At the end of 2004, after two blocked punts played a large part in the Citrus Bowl win over LSU, Iowa's special teams were being mentioned in the same breath as the likes of Virginia Tech.  Nate Keading won the Groza Award once, and should have won it again.  Gone are those halcyon days, replaced by abject mediocrity.  Nowhere was the downfall of Iowa's special teams more evident than last season's embarassing loss to Indiana, where Iowa's placekicking tandem of Austin Signor and Daniel Murray missed 2 field goals (one from 42, one a chip shot) and a momentum-killing extra point.  With that said, the special teams came through with blocked kicks against Northwestern and WMU, and all the key players are back.

The thrill is gone.  It's time to get it back.

Punter

Ryan Donahue (6'3", 180, Soph.) - In a Jekyll-and-Hyde first season as the starting punter, Donahue was bad early and great late.  He was prone to the occasional shank early in the year.  Never was this more evident than against Wisconsin, where Iowa bled field position in one of those hideously ugly three-and-out battle royals you occasionally get in the Big Ten.  Somewhere around Penn State week, however, things began to click for young Donahue, and he was competent bordering or downright great for the remainder of the season.  He looks to be a good pooch punter, which is always helpful.  He was also the most overworked Iowa punter since Jason Baker's ill-fated Heisman Trophy campaign in 1999.  By the end of the year, he was honorable mention all-conference.  Not bad for a guy who had a 12-yard punt against Iowa State.

Donahue was thought to be really damn good in high school (U.S. Army All-American Game participant; 4 stars from Scout), and he looks like he might be really damn good in college.  Let's just hope we don't use him quite so much this year.

Kicker

I knew this was whole "positions we don't know about go last" thing was a good idea.  What was a toss-up position last week is much more clear-cut today.  Hooray transfers! 

Daniel Murray (5'10", 185, Soph.) - Murray entered last season ostensibly tied with Austin Signor, but Signor was taking all the kicks through the first three weeks of the season.  Murray took all the kicks during the Wisconsin game, the two split field goal duty against Indiana (which was a horrible idea, especially given that both kickers had struggled and obviously had little more than a shred of confidence left), and Murray took every kick from that point on.  Much like Donahue, he showed improvement as the season progressed.  In September, Ferentz wouldn't even consider sending Murray on the field from 40+ yards; less that 2 months later, he was knocking a 47-yard field goal through the uprights to take the lead over Michigan State.

Then came the Western Michigan game.  Murray missed two extra point attempts and looked horrible.  Maybe it was the cold weather.  Maybe it was the end of a long freshman season.  Maybe it was simply a side effect of the general malaise that had afflicted that team on that day.  It doesn't matter; it was an enormous step back for a player who had taken a siginficant step forward in the prior 11 games.

Austin Signor transferred to Eastern Illinois last week, which would generally leave the position for Murray.  However, there are still questions about Murray's leg strength and general competence.  The sheer number of points given up in missed kicks last season by Iowa's placekickers - especially in close losses to Iowa State, Wisconsin, and WMU - was staggering.  Ferentz will be looking for consistency and competence; if Murray doen't show either, he'll be replaced fast.

Trent Mossbrucker (6'0", 190, Fr.) - If Ferentz were convinced Daniel Murray was the answer, would he have used a scholarship on Mossbrucker, a 2-star kicker from Mooresville, Indiana?  The Mossbrucker articles are virtually identical: Iowa's not getting a kicker; it's getting an athlete.  Mossbrucker was a high school quarterback, and a damn good one at that.  He set Mooresville High records for career completions (529) and yards (4,208).  ""If he were 6-3 or 6-4, there's no doubt in my mind," said his high school coach, "he would have been recruited heavily as a quarterback."  A kicker who can run and throw?  Someone dig up the Hayden Fry Book o' Exotics!

Oh, by the way, he can kick.  He was 8/11 on field goals (his Rivals.com highlight reel shows some from over 40 yards) and 47/48 on PAT attempts.  He also put more than 2/3 of his kickoffs in the end zone.  There's no telling exactly how this competition will play out, but Murray is far from a certainty.

Ryan Donahue - Given Murray's lack of leg strength and Mossbrucker's inexperience, Donahue will almost certainly handle kickoffs.  That being said, Donahue is curiously listed as "punter/placekicker" on the newest roster, and the recruiting sites loved his high school placekicking numbers.  Ferentz has never had a punter/placekicker for any extended period of time, but it's not out of the question.

Kick Returners

Derrell Johnson-Koulianos (6'1", 205, Soph.) - He did it last year (22 returns, 23.7 YPR).  He's back this year.  He's fast and elusive.  Good enough for me.  He could get moved out if he becomes too important to the offense, but there's a far smaller chance of getting killed when returning kicks than when returning punts.

Paul Chaney, Jr. (5'9", 170, Soph.) - See DJK, only he's smaller and faster.  Last year, he returned 13 kicks for an average of 18.0 YPR.

Punt Returners

Colin Sandeman (6'1", 200, Soph.) - Again, he did it last season (12 returns, 7.7 YPR).  He's got some speed.  He's far enough down the depth chart to avoid short-circuiting the offense when he's inevitably crushed on a would-be fair catch.  Seriously, I don't know how punt returners do it.

Andy Brodell (6'3", 200, Sr.) - He did it for 2+ seasons and did it well (career average of 12.6 YPR), but now he might be too valuable to make into a human missile target.

NOTE:  I Fan(!)Post(!)ed (TM) this one, because we said we're not going to talk about this for a while.  Yes, it might be BHGP Reloaded, but for fuck's sake, someone's got to start actually paying attention to what's coming out of the mouths of the administration.  If the media won't do it, I guess we will.

Also, please pardon the language.  It's 4:30 in the morning and I can't sleep.  Mom, don't read this.  I hear Oprah's website is very nice.

You are WRONG!

You know, it was less than a week ago that, after getting more or less bitch slapped by the Board of Regents for failing to turn over documents considered essential to the Board's investigation of what was either a fuck-up or a cover-up, Gary Barta told us how "challenging" it had been not to tell his story and how, after meeting with the Board, he was going to tell us all just what had happened.

Turns out, neither he nor any other member of the University administration decided to wait.

The University took its lumps in the emergency meeting last Tuesday, but was spinning like a top by the end of the week.  Now, a look back at the bullshit, speculation, and baldfaced lies given to you by the UI:

First, a complete fabrication by Sally Mason.  From her interview in the wake of the Regents meeting:

The mother had claimed that UI athletics officials failed to alert Phillip Jones, vice president for student services, about the alleged assault.

Jones would have been alerted, Mason said, if the internal reports prepared by the athletic department and the Office of Equal Opportunity and Diversity on the alleged assault hadn't been put under seal by a judge because of the criminal investigation.

WRONG! 

While it's questionable whether the athletic department's internal reports and the EOD investigation were subject to the seal, the timeline simply does not corroborate Mason's tale.  According to the mother (and in one of the few points not being argued by the UI), she first made contact with Jones on November 15; in fact, she did so at the request of the general counsel.  Judge Potterfield did not seal any records in this case until the next day.  At no point prior to November 16 was there any order demanding the university withhold anything.  By that time, Jones had been notified.  Oh, and the "informal" procedure so conveniently implemented by the university?  It required Jones be notified, so that any potential issues involving housing (like the alleged perpetrator LIVING THREE ROOMS AWAY) could be fixed.  This, my friends, is a lie.  There is no other way of characterizing this statement.

That wasn't Mason's only fib this week.  As you know, the University initially argued that the mom's letter was protected by FERPA, and therefore was not disclosed to the Board of Regents.  This is a legal absurdity along the lines of "waterboarding isn't torture," and Marc Mills is an embarassment to the legal profession for even attempting to justify such a withholding.  Good thing it only took the Sally Mason spin machine 48 hours to understand that fact. 

Mason told the board the UI administration, based on legal interpretation from its counsel, Marcus Mills, thought that FERPA, the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, a federal statute that protects the privacy of student records, prevented the university from sharing the letters with the board.

Mason admitted to the board the university's interpretation was wrong.

"There is no excuse for the failure to turn over those letters as part of the investigation that you directed the Board of Regents office to conduct in the wake of the report of the assault," she said.

Of course, that's all well and good if the letters are the only things withheld, right?  Um, Sally?  WRONG!

Letters from the mother of an alleged sexual assault victim were not the only documents the University of Iowa failed to turn over to the Iowa state Board of Regents during the initial investigation of how the assault report was handled, UI President Sally Mason said.

Among documents withheld from the regents were letters from UI officials to football players implicated in the assault telling them not to retaliate against the alleged victim, a student-athlete, Mason said Thursday.

The documents, which amounted to a "small box," according to UI General Counsel Marc Mills, previously were concealed from regents based on an inaccurate interpretation of a federal student privacy law, Mason said. Those materials have now been turned over to the regents, who have opened a second investigation into how the UI dealt with the high-profile case.

Wow, there must have been a lot of letters to those football players, considering they filled a "small box."  Any bets as to what else was in the box?  Were the only documents initially produced for the Board of Regents a copy of KOK's one-page playbook and an IHOP placemat colored by Gary Barta?

Finally, a nuanced finagling of the truth by Mr. Integrity himself.  When asked point blank at BXI Media Day whether he had removed Everson and Satterfield from the squad by the next game after the alleged assault (Purdue, 10/20), Ferentz first refused to answer the question, then gave us this gem:

I can’t think of an instance where I kicked anyone off immediately. They were suspended immediately. As the week went on, and my conversations with parties involved were ongoing, I finished on Thursday (four days after the alleged incident), 6 or 6:30 on Thursday it was my last information gathering conversation. I made the decision at that point where we were going. It’s not as simple as saying you are off the team. To remove a player from school, I don’t have that power to remove a player from scholarship immediately.

WRONG!

Let's take a look back at exactly what the head ball coach said in the days following his revelatory investigation into this incident.  In the wake of the October 20 shitkicking at the hands of Purdue, Ferentz was asked why Everson didn't make the trip.  His response?

"He came up short in a couple of departments last week and we opted not to bring him," Ferentz said. He was then asked if the problems were on the field or off.

"That's a matter between (them)," Ferentz said. "It was my choice not to bring him. We'll see how it goes."

So...Everson is still on the team?  And what the fuck are the "couple of departments" where he came up short?  The "not raping women" department?  The "successfully avoiding getting your coach into a year-long investigation of what the hell is going on in his program" department?  The "not losing in-state offensive line recruits to Michigan Fucking State because they have more 'discipline and structure'" department?

No answers there.  How about three days later, at his weekly press conference?

Q: Is Cedric Everson in good standing?

KF: Well, that's pretty much about where he was Saturday, I guess.  That's probably the best answer I could give you.  He wasn't with us Saturday.  Things haven't changed an awful lot.

Q: Is he practicing?

KF: No, huh-uh.  Didn't last week.  I guess Thursday would have been his last day.  He's not in good standing.

Q: Is he off the team?

KF: He's not in good standing.

So...Everson "is not in good standing"?  Is he suspended?  Dismissed?  None of the above?  It wasn't until November 13, with the criminal investigation underway, that Ferentz formally announced Everson and Satterfield were suspended.  Maybe it's a game of symantics, but take another look at those two statements.  The word "suspended" is never used, though God knows he could have added it at any given point.  Those aren't statements made to warn of a future dismissal; those are "Cedric missed 2 classes this week" statements.  There is only one conclusion: HE CLEARLY EXPECTED TO GET THESE GUYS BACK ON THE TEAM.  To say now that they were immediately suspended is fudging the truth at the best and lying at the worst.

I have to wonder if the administration has purchased their Olympics tickets yet.  They've already dug themselves halfway to China.

It's about that time.  For the next two months, BHGP will be previewing this year's Iowa Hawkeyes, position-by-position.  Naturally, as the earth revolves around the sun, things will change.  Therefore, we're starting with the position we are most certain of, and ending with running back the position of which we are least certain.  To date:

1. Defensive Tackle
2. Tight End
3. Safety
4. Center
5. Defensive End
6. Wide Receiver

Today: Linebacker

When we reviewed defensive ends, there was mention of Norm Parker's comments to the Polk County I-Club that the new guys will make mistakes, "but they will be moving fast when they make them."  The same could apply at linebacker.  Gone are Mike Klinkenborg and Mike Humpal, two good players with even better names who stepped into the size 22 shoes left by Chad Greenway and Abdul Hodge and performed capably, if somewhat unspectacularly.  The replacements are largely unknown quantities with limited experience, but who are significantly more athletic than the predecessors.  That is unquestionably good; the image of Klinkenborg futily chasing receivers downfleld (that play against ISU...ugh) still haunt my dreams.

The Returning Starter

A.J. Edds (6'4", 244, Jr.) (OLB) - I've said it before (to widespread derision from Chad Greenway supporters) and I'll say it again:  A.J. Edds is going to be the best coverage linebacker in the Ferentz era.  He's already shown signs of coverage brilliance, intercepting one pass and breaking up 4 others.  In fact, Edds' college career is following a Greenway-esque arc (except, of course, for the strong-side, weak-side thing).  He played sparingly as a freshman, assumed the starting OLB spot as a sophomore, and probably won't be challenged until he leaves.  His numbers as a sophomore don't quite match Greenway's (specifically TFL and sacks), but that's in large part a byproduct of Edds playing next to two seniors.  There's little denying his ability to stop the run and get into the backfield when given the opportunity; Edds recorded 286 tackles, 17 tackles for loss, and 4 sacks in his last two years of high school.

Edds is now the leader at linebacker and, more importantly, one of the most important players on defense.  He will be responsible for covering the likes of Travis Beckum and Andrew Quarless, stopping the strongside run, and teaching two new linebackers the ropes.  Expect 120+ tackles, 3 or 4 picks, and plenty of accolades.

The Possible Starters

Jacody Coleman (6'3", 240, Soph.) and Pat Angerer (6'1", 230, Jr.) (MLB) - Here is the first athleticism vs. seniority debate.  Entering spring practice, it looked like Coleman was the clear starter; in fact, inside word was that Angerer was considering a transfer.  But then Angerer had a big spring, started with the first team in the spring game, and looked to have pulled even with Coleman by April.

Jacody Coleman was somewhat lightly regarded coming out of high school (2* Scout.com, 3* Rivals).  He drew interest from Florida, LSU, and Alabama, but his only offers were Iowa, ISU, and Baylor.  Nevertheless, he impressed the staff almost immediately and played in nine of twelve games as a true freshman.  He was especially effective against the run, recording 4 tackles for loss in limited action.  Coleman has ideal size and speed, and, despite being two years younger, actually has more game experience than Angerer.  He has to be the odds-on favorite.

Pat Angerer was projected as a weakside linebacker when he left Bettendorf High, but has been blocked at every turn.  As a freshman, he was third-string weakside linebacker and saw sporadic action.  He recorded one tackle last season (and that was on special teams).  It looked like Angerer was blocked again when Coleman was named the pre-spring starter at MLB, and the logjam developed on the weakside.  However, by all accounts he had a great spring.  In fact, he was one of the more impressive players in the spring game, and was running even with, if not ahead of, Coleman by mid-April.  He is also the best chance of keeping the "Klinkenborg-Humpal kickass linebacker name" tradition alive.  There is also the outside possibility Angerer moves back to the weakside spot.

Jeff Tarpinian (6'3", 220, Soph.), Jeremiha Hunter (6'2", 220, Soph.), and Tyler Nielsen (6'4", 230, Fr. (RS)) (WLB) - If the middle linebacker position is a neck-and-neck battle, the weakside competition is nothing short of a clusterfuck.

I had to laugh at the "Tremendous" Tim Brewster press conference at Big Ten media days.  In the middle of his nonsensical ranting, Brewster talked about Steve Davis, a defensive end who was shifted to linebacker.  In other words, a guy who wasn't considered fast enough to play linebacker in the first place is being moved to that spot because "he loves football."  Iowa fans know that the ideal move is up; take a guy fast enough to play a "smaller" position and bulk up into a "larger" spot.  Matt Roth (LB to DE), Robert Gallery (TE to OT), Scott Chandler (WR to TE), and Mitch King (LB to DT) are just a few examples. 

Jeff Tarpinian, listed as the first-team WLB after spring practice, is the most recent beneficiary of the Chris Doyle program.  Tarpinian came to Iowa as a lightly-regarded safety, added 30 pounds over two years while maintaining secondary-level speed, and shifted into the linebacker corps in 2007.  There's no denying the speed factor; Tarpinian ran for over 2,000 yards as a high school senior playing in Nebraska's equivalent of 4A football (and at quarterback, no less).  He was the Nebraska player of the year that season (I hate to keep drawing the comparison, but does that sound familiar to anyone?)  He was injured throughout pre-season practice last season, but played on special teams.  He finally saw the field as a linebacker against Minnesota and did not disappoint, recording 6 tackles.  He also made the Big Ten all-academic team.  You hate to enter the season with an unknown quantity at linebacker, but all signs point toward Tarpinian growing into a top-notch contributor.

Jeremiha Hunter, on the other hand, was one of the most sought-after linebacker recruits in the country.  He received offers from the likes of Michigan, Florida, Georgia, Penn State, and Tennessee.  He was ranked the #6 linebacker in the country by Rivals.  When asked why he chose Iowa, he cited the S&C program (always a good sign).  He redshirted in his first season, and saw limited action last season.  I can't find any indication of why the staff has placed Tarpinian ahead of Hunter, but the chances of Tarpinian going through an entire 12-game season without an injury don't look great.  Expect to see plenty of Hunter, either as the starter or frequently-used reserve.

Tyler Nielsen is the biggest question mark.  Most expect Nielsen, a 4-star recruit out of Humboldt, IA, to eventually play on the strong side.  However, with Edds locked in for the next two seasons, Nielsen might see the field on the opposite side.  He's raw athleticism, to be sure; he runs a sub-4.5 40, but only played linebacker for one season in high school.  All indications are that the staff wants to get him on the field this season.  He will likely feature on special teams and occasionally rotate in at linebacker, but could be a more significant part of the defense if things break the right way.

Should See the Field

Dezman Moses (6'2", 240, Soph.) - I considered throwing Moses into the mix at WLB, but eventually decided against it.  In the end, with all the young talent Iowa has at linebacker, he might be the odd man out.  He played briefly at linebacker as a true freshman, mostly in the waning moments of the blowout win against Syracuse, and saw significant action on special teams.  He didn't redshirt, which is a sign of how highly the coaches regard his ability, and he's on the post-spring two-deep.  That being said, he's stuck behind Edds at OLB and the logjam at WLB, and there's nothing short of a cataclysmic injury to Edds that could move him into the starting lineup.

Gavin McGrath (6'2", 235, Sr.) - McGrath is the illicit love child of Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale and Sugar Ray's Mark McGrath a former walk-on who has recorded exactly one tackle in each of his first three seasons.  Probably slated for special teams duty again this season.

Troy Johnson (6'2", 230, Soph.) - So buried on this depth chart, he's nicknamed Montresor.  Well, at least I call him that.  Special teamer.

Bruce Davis (5'11", 235, Soph.) - Former Ohio high school defensive POY, which is impressive.  Otherwise, see Troy Johnson.  Given his less-than-ideal height and lack of speed (4.91 40.  Yikes), as well as the glut of linebackers already available, he could be moved to defensive tackle at some point in the not-too-distant future.  It could be worse; Brewster would make him a cornerback.

   If you have not paid
Attention to the sports news
I am not Lloyd Carr

You can call me Rich
My name is Rich Rodriguez
I coach the football

I have come today
To Chicago Illinois
To answer questions

   Coach Rodriguez, who will be your starting quarterback?

  Steven Threet will start
The season behind center
Until Pat White defects

  Coach, you have one starter returning on offense, your quarterback has never taken a snap in a college game, and you're installing a completely different offensive system.  Is there any chance your team will actually put some points on the board this year?

  Until Pat White defects
I imagine we will run
The Wing T offense

Am I the only one
Who feels a bit of a draft?
Get my leather coat

  Rich, how have you adjusted to life at Michigan?

  Before Michigan
I never owned a necktie
I had to buy one

I called my dad and
Told him I never learned how
To tie a necktie

He told me to cross
The big side over the small
Then under, over

Then under again
Then up through the little hole
Then down to my belt

Continue reading this post »

BHGP Big Ten Media Day Correspondent Bob Zook

When we found out that Ron Zook had an evil twin big brother, we couldn't help ourselves.  We had to find him.  Three weeks - and more than $1200 in private detective work - later, we found Bobert Garthe "Bob" Zook lounging on his corner lot at Uncle Bob's Self-Storage in Pensacola, Florida, enjoying a cold Busch N/A on a warm Florida afternoon.

We talked.  We listened.  We absorbed the Zookiness.  We found out he's an avid bowler at Pensacola Lanes (where he's known as "Da Meat Hook"), he drives a Ford F-250 pickup named "Goliath," and he moved to Uncle Bob's Self-Storage after his houseboat was lost in a grilling accident.  We laughed at stories of Bobert giving Ron regular beatdowns as a small child.  We cringed at stories of Ron exacting revenge by taking Bobert's beloved Florida Gators and running them into the ground.  According to Bobert, they haven't spoken since the 2004 Outback Bowl. 

As we were wrapping up, a truck on nearby Interstate 110 belched a nasty cloud of smoke into the air.  We all buried our noses in our shirtsleeves to avoid the stench.  All of us, that is, except for Bobert.

"Doesn't the smoke bother you?" we asked.

"Not really.  I was born without a sense of smell," Bob replied.  "It's known as 'Russian Reversal syndrome,' because in Soviet Russia, the government smells YOU!  I've gotta hand it to Ron.  He found out about my condition, he educated himself, and he developed the finest sense of smell I've ever witnessed.  He can smell the slightest hint of jasmine or lavender, especially when it's in someone's shampoo.  He developed his keen sense of smell just to help me get through the world."  A single tear trickled down his cheek.

We immediately asked if he would like to help us and, in the process, reunite with his brother.  After a few moments, in which he finished his Busch N/A and smashed the can on his head ("I taught Ron how to do that," he said), he agreed to become the BHGP correspondent at Big Ten Media Days.  For the rest of the afternoon and through tomorrow morning, Bobert will be chronicling the press conferences, the prepared statements, and the general malaise that surrounds this least exciting of conference events.  Bob Zook:  In Chicago so you don't have to be!

Despite their blatant ripoff of Southern Cal flashy new uniforms, Iowa State is once again having a little trouble selling tickets.  Most programs encounter similar problems, especially with games against perennial doormats like Missouri, Texas A&M, and Nebraska.

Fortunately, ISU Athletic Director Jamie Pollard is a marketing wizard.  After all, what does the typical Iowa State fan like more than free jalapeno poppers?

It’s called the "Applebee’s Mini-Pack" promotion and for only $99 each, Iowa State football fans can receive ...

• A reserved seat ticket to three Cyclone home games this fall (either South Dakota State or Kent State, Nebraska and either Texas A&M or Missouri)

A gift certificate worth $20 to use at any Applebee’s restaurant in the state of Iowa

Wait, wait.  It gets better.

"[W]e thought this was a great way to provide an inexpensive opportunity for fans to attend several Cyclone football games and have a night out at Applebee’s," Director of Athletics Jamie Pollard said. "It’s a very affordable price point, includes a bonus gift certificate and offers flexibility for fans to choose the games they want to see. That’s tough to beat."

One might think...just wait a second...no, no, I'm a pro, I'll keep a straight face...I...can...HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ah!  Whew!  OK, I'm fine.  One might think Applebee's...is...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

OK [wipes tears from eyes], really, I'm done.  Now, one might think an Applebee's promotion makes perfect sense.  After all, it is where Gene Chizik waitresses during his summer vacation.  However, Chizik didn't exactly leave Applebee's on the best of terms.

Chizik nickels don't count toward your flair requirement

There's only one explanation: Jamie Pollard is perpetrating a fraud on the unsuspecting Iowa State fan base.  After all, if you see something too good to be true - like free Applebee's gift cards - it's probably a scam.  You're being had, Iowa State fans.  Here's some tips for protecting yourself from fraudulent university administrators: 

• If you receive an email from your AD where he claims to be the heir to the throne of Nigeria, it's not real.  Don't give him money. 
  
• If Jiri Hubalek offers to marry you, he's only trying to get a green card.
• If Darren Davis attempt to squeegee your car's windshield, tell him to get off the sauce.

OPS has weighed in over at AOL Fanhouse because, frankly, this deserves two posts.

And, in all seriousness, for you Iowa State fans demanding respect from Iowa, you will get respect when you stop stealing I-Cubs promotional gimmicks to sell tickets to your three biggest home games.

T/F/J: Frank Grimes at the Hawkeye Hotspot